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Silliness for dog and cat lovers
Excerpts from a dog's diary

8:00am dog food! My favourite thing!
9;30am a car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40am  a walk in the park! My favourite thing
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! my favourite thing
12:00pm Lunch! my favourite thing
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favourite thing
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favourite thing
5:00pm Milk bones! My favourite thing
6:00pm Oooh, bath. Bummer
7:00pm got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing
11:00pm Sleeping onthe bed! My favourite thing

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects
they dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet

today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a " good little hunter" I am. Bastards

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the  noises and smell of food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow---but at the top of the stairs

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privleges. He is regularly released- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevate cell, so he is safe. for now........................................ 


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Those are oldies but goodies :-)

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